Scent of A Wife

 

Probably the most delightful of fragrances for me is that of lavender. Every time its scent reaches me, my thoughts are immediately transported to another dimension, and I could glimpse an infinitesimal vision of Eden restored to full bloom when Christ comes.

But nature is so designed that every such gift created for man’s olfactory pleasure passes by us only for a brief while, enough for us to enjoy it during the few seconds it fills our senses. And then, having given us a forescent of the wonderful world awaiting God’s people, it departs, to waft to us again the next time we pass by that area.

However, if we bottle up a synthetic similitude of that scent, we are able to experience its fragrance everytime we open the bottle and dab a portion of the delight on ourselves. But, after a few seconds the scent vanishes from our senses, and we do not think of it until we spray it or dab it on us again the next day. That’s the wonder of all the wonderful sensations we experience, that’s the beauty of all beautiful things we behold.

All delightful experiences, when assimilated continuously beyond a short period of pleasure, take flight from us for our own good – so that we can continually, forever, enjoy the pleasure they give us without being surfeited by them.

The most sensual scent for a man however is not from the plant kingdom or from the great perfumeries of the world, no matter how exquisite they are by themselves. For a man that God has blessed with the second greatest gift for enjoyment of his life – after the gift of the person of Christ – there is nothing that comes even close to the scent of a wife snuggled close to him.

I may state, on the basis of the testimony of at least one wife – that this scent, in its masculine form, is equally true for a woman. The scent of her husband is her supreme sensuality, as long as the emanations from his body do not end at her nasal terminals but permeates deep into her heart that is filled with love for her man.

A heart that has little love for the spouse receives chemically the same smells from the wife or husband, but they are absorbed only by the physical faculties and do not suffuse the deep chambers of the heart. It is the emotional essences that convert even perspiration soaked molecules into reassuring vibes of delight for a husband or a wife. Without overflowing love in the heart of the scent recipient, the daily smells of a spouse have nothing alluring in them, and may sometimes be even an odoriferous experience for the wife or husband.

Now let me tell you what I really mean by scent of a wife. I am not merely referring to the physical sensing of the body smells of your beloved, delightful as they are. It is the sense of togetherness, of the sychological effect of having a lifemate beside you constantly, that the scent of a wife brings you. It is an extended recreation of what Adam experienced when he first beheld Eve. Until then, he was not feeling complete, he was lonely, and God said that this state of not being able to scent a mate, which all the animals in Adam’s care were able to, was ‘not good’ for man.

It is when a man leaves his wife for a few days, or a longer period, that he acutely misses the scent of his woman. A prolonged deprivation in a man of the scent of his wife can do severe damage to his syche. Such deprivation in a man who is not protected by the Holy Spirit puts him in great risk of straying into places where he could get substitute scents illegitimately.

For husbands in God’s family, when situations arise where they are forced to be separated for long periods from their wives (such as imprisonments) they suffer much because of the absence of the daily marital scents. But they are able to patiently endure this suffering, and every other suffering through Christ whose personal fragrance strengthens them Phil 4:13, and when they are restored to their wives their appreciation of the blessings of having a life-partner constantly beside them is increased many times. If they had taken their wives’ scent for granted before they were separated, then they vow never to take it for granted again. Which is what I want to tell you finally.

Appreciate every tangible and intangible blessings of married life. It is so easy to take them for granted, so easy for you to lose scent of the wonderful emanations of love from your wife after inhaling them day and night for years. The way to regain scent of the wonderful fragrances of married life is to daily renew your conscious appreciation of all that God has given you in your wife, and to daily praise God and thank him for this most beautiful of scents that fill up your senses every day and every night.

Remember the hit song that conveys the intense longing of the singer whose senses are overwhelmed by the memory of his separated wife?

‘You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again’1

If you haven’t done it so far in your married life, try this: The next time you go near your wife, take a deep breath, and sniff her in the neck or bosom. Then kiss her. Let the subtle shades of the natural scent and flavor of your wife overwhelm you, thrill you and cause you to praise God for his marvelous creation.

‘You, my love, are beautiful. So beautiful!… Your love is more pleasing than the finest wine, and the fragrance of your perfume brings more delight than any spice! Your lips taste sweet like honey off the comb, my bride; milk and honey are beneath your tongue. The scents of your clothes are like the fresh air of Lebanon… your breath is the aroma of apples. Kissing you is more delicious than drinking the finest wine. How wonderful and tasty!   Song 4:1,10-11;7:8-9

 

Pappa Joseph

 

1′Annie’s Song’ by John Denver. It is the second most melodious song I have ever heard, second only to ‘Unchained Melody’ by the Righteous Brothers. If you haven’t heard them yet, you can find them easily on YouTube.

Image Courtesy: Urs Gerber – iVision

 

 

Husbands, Be An Authority, Not An Authoritarian Over Your Wife

 

 

A woman is, by the will of God, always under the authority of a man. Until her marriage she is subject to the will of her father, and after her marriage, to the will, and often, whim, of her husband.

To the woman He said…Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.   Gen 3:16

A woman must submit to her husband’s authority over her just as much as a man submits to the authority of Christ in his life.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.   Eph 5:22-24

And so, since Adam, every husband has exercised authority over his wife and every wife, except the wayward ones, has submitted to the rule of her husband. And in doing so, uncountable number of women throughout history have suffered the brutality and harshness of men who turned their authority to authoritarianism.

Authority in man is instituted by God for the ultimate good of the woman under his rule. Authoritarianism is usurped by many men in authority to institute their own pleasure above their wife’s wellbeing and happiness. The one is from the Creator, to create a sense of security for the woman; the other is from the Destroyer, to destroy the woman’s sense of security under a man, so she can seek it from other sources.

Divorces, women’s liberation movements, destitute women, prostitutes, and men-hating feminists are the direct products of men who exercised brutal authoritarianism in their homes, or they are the tragic consequences of men who did not exercise any authority in their homes, which is equally disastrous for the women entrusted to their care.

Even among Godly husbands, including senior ministers of Christ, I have observed many instances where their authority was temporarily transformed into ugly authoritarianism. In such instances, the man’s tone changes, his facial contours distort, and his words and actions cause the woman beside him to express her disappointment and hurt verbally or vibely.

Husbands, if you want your Lord, the Savior of your body, to rejoice in your submission to him, you must give cause for your wife to rejoice in her submission to you. And the way to do it is to exercise authority over her just as Christ exercises authority over you and the rest of his body, the church.

Husbands, love your wives, JUST AS Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church…let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself   Eph 5:25-33. Emphasis mine

In closing, let me mention that there is just one area in a man’s life over which he has no authority himself, but he is subject to the authority of his wife, just as much as she is subject to his authority in the rest of the areas in her life:

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.   1 Cor 7:4

If the wife so desires the physical body of her husband at any time of the day or night, he has no authority to say no. His mind may belong to him, but his physical body belongs to her.

May the Great Authority over us, even our Lord Jesus, in whom we rejoice, rejoice over us even as we sincerely seek to cause the one over whom we have authority to rejoice in us.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

Containerized Infants: How Products are Affecting Our Babies’ Brains

By Rae Pica

Courtesy: Chloe – chloe004 – flickr.com

 

Besides the fact that they were built to do so, there are a great many reasons why infants need to move. The truth is, even though their movement capabilities are extremely limited when compared with even those of a toddler, movement experiences may be more important for infants than for children of any other age group. And it’s not all about motor development either.

Thanks to new insights in brain research, we now know that early movement experiences are considered essential to the neural stimulation (the ‘use-it-or-lose-it’ principle involved in the keeping or pruning of brain cells) needed for healthy brain development.

Not long ago, neuroscientists believed that the structure of a human brain was genetically determined at birth. They now realize that although the main ‘circuits’ are ‘prewired’ (for such functions as breathing and the heartbeat), the experiences that fill each child’s days are what actually determine the brain’s ultimate design and the nature and extent of that child’s adult capabilities.

An infant’s brain, it turns out, is chock-full of brain cells (neurons) at birth. (In fact, a one-pound fetus already has 100 billion of them!) Over time, each of these brain cells can form as many as 15,000 connections (synapses) with other brain cells. And it is during the first three years of life that most of these connections are made. Synapses not used often enough are eliminated. On the other hand, those synapses that have been activated by repeated early experiences tend to become permanent. And it appears that physical activity and play during early childhood have a vital role in the sensory and physiological stimulation that results in more synapses.

Neurophysiologist Carla Hannaford, in her excellent book, Smart Moves: Why Learning Is Not All in Your Head, states: ‘Physical movement, from earliest infancy and throughout our lives, plays an important role in the creation of nerve cell networks which are actually the essence of learning.’

She then goes on to relate how movement, because it activates the neural wiring throughout the body, makes the entire body — not just the brain — the instrument of learning.

Gross and fine motor skills are learned through repetition as well — both by virtue of being practiced and because repetition lays down patterns in the brain. Although it hasnt been clearly determined that such early movements as kicking, waving the arms, and rocking on hands and knees are ‘practice’ for later, more advanced motor skills, it’s believed that they are indeed part of a process of neurological maturation needed for the control of motor skills. In other words, these spontaneous actions prepare the child – physically and neurologically – to later perform more complex, voluntary actions.

Then, once the child is performing voluntary actions (for example, rolling over, creeping, and walking), the circle completes itself, as these skills provide both glucose (the brain’s primary source of energy) and blood flow (‘food’) to the brain, in all likelihood increasing neuronal connections.

According to Rebecca Anne Bailey and Elsie Carter Burton, authors of The Dynamic Self: Activities to Enhance Infant Development, whenever babies move any part of their bodies, there exists the potential for two different kinds of learning to occur: learning to move and moving to learn. Still, recent evidence indicates that infants are spending upward of 60 waking hours a week in things – high chairs, carriers, car seats, and the like!

The reasons for this trend are varied. Part of the problem is that more and more infants are being placed in childcare centers, where there may not be enough space to let babies roam the floor. Or, given the number of infants enrolled, there may be little opportunity for caregivers to spend one-on-one time with each baby. This means, in the morning, an infant is typically fed, dressed, and then carried to the automobile, where she’s placed in a car seat. She’s then carried into the childcare center, where she may spend much of her time in a crib or playpen. At the end of the day, she’s picked up, placed again into the car seat, and carried back into the house, where she’s fed, bathed, and put to bed.

Even when parents are home with baby, they seem to be busier than ever these days. Who has time to get on the floor and creep around with a child? Besides, with today’s emphasis on being productive, playing with a baby would seem almost a guilty pleasure! And if the baby seems happy and safe in a seat placed conveniently in front of the TV, in a bouncer hung in a doorway, or cruising about in a walker, then what’s the harm? It’s a win/win situation, isn’t it?

In fact, it isn’t. Being confined (as one colleague says: ‘containerized’) affects a baby’s personality; they need to be held. It may also have serious consequences for the child’s motor – and cognitive – development.

Other trends in today’s society having an impact on infants’ opportunities to move are the inclination to restrict, rather than encourage, freedom of movement and the misguided belief that early academic instruction will result in superbabies. (In 1999, 770,000 copies of infant software – ‘lapware’ – were sold!)

Humans are meant to move and play. The inclination – the need – is hardwired into them. Babies, in fact, spend nearly half of their waking time – 40% – doing things like kicking, bouncing, and waving their arms. And while it may appear all this activity is just for the sake of moving, it’s important to realize a baby is never ‘just moving’ or ‘just playing’. Every action extends the child’s development in some way.

 

Rae Pica has been an early childhood education consultant, specializing in children’s physical activity, since 1980. A former adjunct instructor with the University of New Hampshire, she is the founder and director of Moving & Learning and the author of 18 books, including the text Experiences in Movement and Music (now in its 5th edition), the award-winning Great Games for Young Children and Jump into Literacy, and A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity, and Free Time Create a Successful Child, written for the parents of children birth to age five. Her website: www.raepica.com