What’s Really Happening When Your Little Son or Daughter Shows Gay Tendencies

Courtesy: Tim Evanson – flickr

 

There are Christians who believe that no person is born gay, and that the environment, the influences in childhood, and other factors cause a child to identify his or her body with the gender of the opposite sex.

That’s what I too believed once. Until, after more than forty years of prayerful study of the Scriptures, I know now that this belief is only partially true. Circumstances, influences, and the environment do affect a child’s sexual identity, but only to a certain extent. The far greater cause of a child showing tendencies of the opposite sex is a living force in him or her.

Before I explain what that living force is, let us see what God says about a person who identifies himself or herself as the opposite gender.

A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God.   Deut 22:5 

The Creator of the sexes gives no room for a man or a woman to claim they were born that way, with the inclination to act and dress like the opposite sex. They may be born with those tendencies, but that does not permit them to change their sexual identity.

Now let me tell you about that living force that is in a child who has gay tendencies.

If you believe the Bible, then you believe there is a spirit being called Satan. Under him are millions of fallen angels, called demons. Each demon has a rank and a certain level of authority. The various kinds of evil spirit forces mentioned in the Bible are called in the Greek language: arche (principalities), exousia (powers), kosmokratōr (rulers), kokhot ruchaniyim ra’im (spiritual hosts of wickedness). Eph 6:12

Just as Christ gave gifts of positions and responsibilities to man – some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers – Satan gave various positions of authority to his demons. He gave some power over various sicknesses, some over depression, some over sexual temptations, some over addictions, some over phobias, and so on. The great servant of God, Derek Prince, says in one of his books, there is even a demon of toothache!

Every principality has numerous demons serving under him, and they enter and affect the bodies and minds of vulnerable human beings around the world.

One of the most powerful principalities that Satan placed over mankind for their destruction is the demon of homosexuality. Under this principal demon of homosexuality are many lesser demons, each over a particular perverted aspect of homosexuality. So you have the sodomites, and the catamites, and the effeminate, and the butch, and the queer, the transexuals, and so on. The Bible mentions a couple of these particular kinds of homosexuals.

Have ye not known that the unrighteous the reign of God shall not inherit? be not led astray; neither whoremongers, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate [also means catamites], nor sodomites…  I Cor 6:9  YLT

…nor passive homosexual partners, nor dominant homosexual partners…  Lexham Version

Families who have not had the Godly legacy of grandparents and parents praying for the spiritual protection of their children are easy targets for various kinds of demons of homosexuality. When one of these demons enters a child and infuses gay feelings into him or her, the child begins to think and act accordingly. There is no outward cause, in the sight of the parent. The child ‘naturally’ feels such inclinations.

Such possession of an individual’s syche by a homosexual demon is not limited to children. In these end times, the gay demons are entering many people, who had not exhibited such tendencies in their earlier years. Year after year, you hear of more people, especially celebrities, ‘coming out’. This phenomenon is but the manifestation of the work of demons of homosexuality taking over their thoughts and feelings.

This possession by the demons happens to people who disdain God’s commandments, and therefore they are left with no divine protection against the evil forces entering them and transforming their attitudes.

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.   Rm 1:26-27

If God opens your eyes to the truth about homosexuality, as revealed in the Bible, then there are ways you can protect your child from such tendencies. And if your child already exhibits such feelings, there are definite steps you can take to save your little son or daughter from this deadly spiritual pandemic.

Here then are the steps you should take to keep your child safe from the demons of homosexuality:

Pray for your child’s sexual safety and purity every day. Also, regularly pray with your wife, or with your husband, for your son or daughter’s protection from this specific danger of the evil spirits.

Pray over your son or daughter, by placing your hand over es head, and declare God’s protection over em from demonic attacks.

Talk to your child, whenever he or she exhibits or talks in a way that reveals es gay tendencies, and tell em what’s really happening, but in a way e can understand at es age. Don’t talk about demons and sins, or you will frighten em and affect es syche badly. Just tell him or her there are thoughts and feelings which are not good if they are allowed to continue.

Don’t make em feel guilty. They are not responsible for causing such tendencies in themselves. This quality must be corrected in the same manner as you correct your child when e tells a lie or steals something.

Watch his or her influences in school and in the playground. Schools are increasingly encouraging a transgender policy. If your child has any friend with gay inclinations, it is a friendship and association that must end immediately.

Watch the media that e is exposed to. More and more films for kids are made with a transgender theme. Keep your child away from them like you keep em from the coronavirus.  

There are other areas where you can act to keep your child safe from these demons of sexual perversion. Let your own wisdom and constant seeking of guidance from God lead you to the best course of action in keeping your precious son or daughter from becoming yet another victim of the gay invasion of homes, schools, media, and other aspects of modern society.

I pray that you, if you are a parent of a young child, will be blessed with the understanding and the wisdom to bring up your child in a wholesome and Godly way.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

Protect Your Child From An Evil School System

 

Among the most important of basic understandings that every Bible-believing person should have is the understanding of how Satan has infiltrated every system in human civilization. The most devastating of his influences have been in the world’s religious and political systems. The third system where the devil has succeeded most in infiltrating and influencing its every aspect is the world’s education system.

From the year a child starts school life, every aspect of the public education system is designed to impress upon es tender and impressionable mind that evolution is fact and that creation is a myth. This is the foundation on which all of the student’s future learnings will be based. The student leaves school with the concept of evolution deeply embedded in es mind as a fundamental fact of science. For es higher education and in es researches, e is subconsciously guided by the principles of what e has learned in science and sociology in school…unless, of course, the evil influence has been overcome by the teachings and constant guidance of Godly parents.

If there are schools with creation-based syllabus, then obviously that should be the first choice of Christian parents to send their little ones to. But such schools may be non-existent in your country, as they are in my country. And since the whole corporate world is geared to accommodate only those who have been educated in this word’s education system, God’s people must look for ways to counter the evil influences of the school’s syllabus and programs and to complement your child’s education with Godly training and tutelage at home.

The parent – and for practical reasons, this is usually the mother – should go through every textbook that her child is going to use at school. And wherever in the textbook evolution is taught directly or indirectly, she should mark those portions, and on the same days that the teacher takes those topics in class, the parent should re-teach them to her child, replacing fallacy with truth.

Hence, daily monitoring of what the child has learned in school is vital for es unlearning falsehood. Unlearning is supposedly ten times more difficult than learning something new. But if the unlearning and relearning can be done within the same day, the negative teachings can be erased before they take root in the child’s mind.

Guarding against the Satanic doctrine of evolution should be the first goal of parents who send their precious ones to the world’s institutions to acquire an education.

The second most dangerous evil that a child is exposed to in the school system is the influence of some of his or her classmates who may have acquired all kinds of unhealthy traits and attitudes, and whose beliefs may be pagan.

Just a few days ago, my granddaughter who is in Grade 1, came over to stay with us. I bought her some modeling clay, and she spent a happy time making various shapes. While on one of her models, she said something that shook me: ‘I am now going to make an idol’. I thought I heard wrongly, and asked her what she meant. ‘An idol, you know, like what people pray to’, she answered. She wanted to make a model of a potbellied pagan deity with an elephant head. That thought came to her mind as a result of the eclectic syllabus that emphasized the virtues of the major religions of the students of the school my granddaughter attends. It also came from her pagan classmates.

School is the first point of infestation of a young and innocent mind. One to three years of schooling, and the child left totally to the mercy of the school system becomes seriously infected with the world’s attitudes and perspectives. I got my elementary training in all the filth of the world at school and from my schoolmates, starting from around Grade 2, when a teeny classmate brought a pornographic picture and there was vying among the students to see it.

The schools of this world produce great scientists, engineers, doctors, and corporate and government leaders. The schools do not produce Godly graduates. They produce Godless graduates. Their syllabuses do not teach compassion and mercy. They teach competitiveness and assertiveness.

All parents should realize how intensively the education system has been formulated to lead the learner away from God and into the world’s ways. Almost everything about school life is meant to influence the child’s mind into a state that would make it difficult for him or her later to believe in God and in the Bible.

Even many of the so-called Christian schools (I attended such a school) have textbooks with evolution as a foundational subject. Where they do have creation-based teachings, then the danger may lie in co-students whose unhealthy influences could affect your child.

There is only one way to guard your child against all these dangers at school. Be daily vigilant of what is happening in every aspect of your child’s school life. Don’t wait for the child to tell you. No matter how busy you are, take extra efforts to be always aware of what’s going on daily in your child’s classroom and with his or her friends.

And, above all, pray fervently for God’s angels to constantly protect your child not only from physical dangers, but equally from the spiritual traps at school.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

The Supreme Factor in Educating Your Child Successfully

 

Do you remember at least two of the main history lessons you learned in Grade 6? Or the molecular structure of ethyl alcohol that your chemistry teacher took so much pain to teach you in Grade 8? Or yet, the five kinds of Interrogative Pronoun that your English miss instilled in your teenage brain? I don’t, and I think most of you reading this don’t either. The only knowledge from school that has stood me in good stead in my adult life is learning to read, write and count. Everything else, I mean literally everything else, has served me no purpose at all in my job search and career development.

But the way our primary school teachers and our parents put their whole being into ensuring that we did remember them – by means of tests, exams, grueling homework, and punishments – it did seem to us at that time that if we didn’t remember those historical facts, dates, formulas, and grammatical technicalities, we were doomed for an adult life of failure in a rat-eat-cat world.

I regret to say this: most of those teachers who believed a student’s success lay in mastering schoolbook facts and formulas have continued to remain in the same station in their professional lives as they were when they taught us those now-forgotten lessons. How many of them have risen out of their current workpit to go on to become well-respected educationists in their community or country, or set up reputable institutions themselves? A very few have, but the overwhelming majority of them remained in their mediocre station in life, continuing to pass on quickly-forgotten knowledge each year to a new batch of young vulnerable minds.

It’s not just that what children learn in their schoolhood is forgotten within a few years after they bid farewell to their alma mater; many of the lessons they learn as immutable facts of life today become obsolete by the time they begin their lives as professionals. The grammar rules and language usage lessons become obsolete, the methodologies and technologies are replaced with more innovative processes, insights and solutions that seemed so revolutionary and effective are condemned as inadequate and even dangerous as newer understanding is gained.

So what can you as a parent do to give your child a schoolhood that will continue to be an influential factor all his or her adult life? It’s a profound subject I will cover periodically in my messages. But let me say this now: above all else, instead of focusing on the knowledge that your child is forced to feed on in school today, put your whole mind into ensuring that he or she acquires a love of learning, and a desire and ability to acquire knowledge on their own.

You do it by leading them to interesting experiences; by spending time with them, not by just helping them do homework but by hobbying with them; by never rebuking them for missing facts in textbooks, but praising them for any skill or knowledge they gained on their own through your encouragement and guidance. That’s the supreme gift you can give them during their school days. This is the most important factor in educating your child successfully.

May your children whom you are now encouraging to love learning and acquire knowledge by themselves, fondly remember in their adulthood how wisely you had laid the foundation for them to not only acquire the knowledge and skills for their success in life, but more importantly, to gain the true understanding of how to be a great parent and spouse themselves.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

 

How to Discipline Your Children Without Future Remorse

 

There are five verses in the book of Proverbs the misreading of which led me astray in disciplining my children. I wish I had never read those verses. And yet I knew God wanted me to read them. But it was only after my three children outgrew their father’s discipline and went off to live their own happy lives that I began to understand what God meant by these verses:

He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.

The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.   Pr 13:24;22:15;23:13-14;29:15

All five verses speak of the rod in disciplining a child. And so I kept one paddle for smacking my little kids’ seats and two thin switches for caning their legs. And I kept them on top of a cupboard in a conspicuous way so my children, even in their best behaviors, can always behold the terror that awaits them should they revert to any misbehavior.

The fears, impressions and perceptions of little children are as real to them as are the real terrors and horrors to adults. But rare indeed is the father who can perceive experiences through his children’s senses. But it is my earnest prayer that this message will be able to do just that – to encourage and guide fathers so they will be able to perceive the feelings of their little ones and turn their hearts to them, and thereby the hearts of the children will turn to their fathers in affection, respect, and bonding that will never diminish with age.

Today I am able to feel to the core of my senses, in my very bones and liver, exactly how my children felt each time they passed by the cupboard. It’s the same feeling that would sweep through me if this scenario were real: My Father takes a lightning rod from the many stocked in third heaven, and pointing to it, tells me, ‘Look, my son, I am doing this for your own good, so you never go astray and land in hot water. I have given you my laws and shown you the path of life; if ever I catch you breaking any, this bolt will zap your seat with such searing heat you would think seven times before you want to do it again’.

For the rest of my life that I would be under the tutorage of the law (Galatians 3:23-25), I would live in daily dread of the consequences of forgetting that’s there’s a rod awaiting my every breach of good conduct. This was how the ancient Israelites lived, under the constant cloud of a Disciplinarian (1 Corinthians 10:1), except that instead of a bolt from the blue on the seat, a merciless barrage of granite stones awaited the sinner’s head.

This is how the churches under the legalistic system live today. Under the constant fear of breaking the law and coming under the wrath of God. Praise our Savior that his blood was shed for our sins, and not our own! Jesus has taken all the wrath that was due us upon himself. There is no more wrath awaiting us, even if we slip and sin, for our Father will forgive us the instant we realize our slip and ask for forgiveness.

Our children should never, even for a moment, live under the hovering fear of the rod of punishment. The father or mother who takes a cane or a paddle or some other instrument of torture in the sight of their child, has not attained the emotional and spiritual maturity that God expects fathers and mothers to attain before they decide to bring forth a child to the world.

So why does the Bible recommend the rod of punishment for children? Because there are possibilities of situations arising where only the physical rod, and nothing else, can discipline a child. It is truly a rare possibility, and I can say with sufficient confidence that if you use wisdom, you very probably need not use even once a physical implement of correction.

What are those possible situations where nothing else but the rod is effective? See this verse again:

Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.   Pr 23:13-14

A rod should be used in a situation that will deliver your child’s soul from hell. May our Father in heaven give you the wisdom to know what are those situations in your own child’s life. Here’re a few that I can tell you from my observations:

When a child displays a constant attitude of hatred towards another child, and in spite of your repeated verbal corrections, the child shows actions and speaks words that originate from an evil source that has somehow managed to penetrate your son’s or daughter’s subconscious mind.

Children who were left uncorrected with such an attitude are the ones who turned into human monsters in their adult lives, such as Hitler, Idi Amin, Bokassa, Stalin, Mao, and many others in the modern era, whose childhood hatred of other people went on wrecking their consciences until they could directly be responsible for the death of hundreds of millions of innocent people and think of it with impunity. “I can send the flower of German youth into the hell of war without the slightest pity”, boasted Hitler, echoing what another man with the same spirit in him uttered a hundred and twenty years earlier. “A man like me cares little about losing the lives of a million men”, said Napoleon.

It is natural for little children of even Godly parents to display wrong attitudes. It is a trait that they and we have inherited from our first parents when the tragic fate of all their descendants’ genetic dispositions was sealed at the moment that Adam and Eve decided to go their own way against their Creator’s will. This naturally inherited disposition in human beings can be suppressed only when their human spirit is overridden by the Holy Spirit on being born again. Until then, parents have to be constantly alert against their children’s natural spirit gaining a permanent stronghold in their consciences.

When a child speaks or acts in a spirit of hostility against another child, parents must correct that behavior with immediate gentle correction. Gentle, because the child is not doing it deliberately. But when gentle correction is proven futile after a couple of times, the correction should take on a sterner approach. But our Creator has put within every child an innate desire to please es parents. When e sees that e has done something displeasing to es parents, and that the parents are not happy with em as before, extremely rare is the child who would not want to do all he or she can to regain es sense of assurance of es parents’ delight in em.

But should it happen on rare occasions that a child continues to display a wrong attitude, and gentle and stern correction (including withdrawal of privileges and other forms of nonphysical correction) are not effective enough, then, and only then, should the parent resort to a physical rod. When such a situation happens, the parent may take the child and give em a smart, but not too hard, smack on the seat with es palm or a flat object. Alternatively, e can use a thin switch for a single whip below the knees. Just a single whack or whip.

You should absolutely never punish your child when there is even a trace of anger in your mind. A child corrected in anger is a child that imbibes a similar quality – a spirit of retaliation. That’s actually what the parent is doing when e hits a child in anger – retaliating against es child because the child has done something that offended em, not solely because the child has done something that endangers the future of es soul.

If you feel anger in you, pause, and pray a short prayer for wisdom and restrain in correcting your child. When your emotions are under control, then take the paddle or switch and correct your child.

I know from experience that just a single use of the paddle is enough. For some sensitive children, even the sight of the parent taking a cane to punish em is effective enough. If your child shows much fear in sighting es instrument of torture (for that’s how any normal child will view the rod), refrain! Call your child, and tell him or her firmly that if e doesn’t want to be caned, then e should never repeat the offense again. Only an unusual child will refuse to immediately accept this condition for nonpunishment. You have already used the rod on your child, though it did not land on es body.

Photo Courtesy: Wesley Fryer – flickr.com

After you are done with the correction, there comes the ‘restoration of hearts’ phase between parent and child.

In the mind of the child, es parent’s punishment of em, no matter how much e himself feels e has earned it, is a short breaching of the absolute confidence e has in the one person e loves and adores above everyone and everything else. This temporary breaching, if left unattended, creates a deeper sense of rejection in the child. E feels the parent may have never really forgiven em fully, or that es parent’s love for em may have diminished. Unwise parents have suffered the consequence of little children being left alone with their hurt emotions after physical or verbal chastisement. The effect of unattended hurt is seen in the rebellious responses of the child when he or she becomes a teen.

Soon after the rod is administered – in situations where it is absolutely necessary to save the child’s attitude from being hardened in hatred or rebellion – the father or mother should make the first move of reconciliation. The parent should go to where the child is, embrace em and tell em that dad, or mom, loves em and he or she is just as dear to them as before. Some children may be immediately comforted, some others may take a little longer for their hurt to be soothed. However long it takes, the first priority in life for the parent then is for em to turn es child’s heart back to em as before.

Another situation where the rod may be necessary is when the child repeatedly forgets or ignores a strict instruction of the parent, the disregard of which may endanger the child’s physical life. For example, a child continuing to go to a dangerous area to play, or a stubborn tendency to get into fights, or repeated stealing, or repeated lying. By ‘repeated’, I mean’ doing it again after being warned at least three or four times.

Again I say, that such situations will be very rare, and it is my constant prayer that parents whom I am privileged to be able to counsel will never need to use the physical rod even once in their parenting years.

An example of a family where the rod was never used once stands as a great encouragement and testimony to the truth that a physical rod need never be resorted to in bringing up your children to be Godly people.

I once got into a personal conversation with the head of a school where I served under him as the vice principal. He is one of the most principled and Godly persons I have known. He has two sons and a daughter. He said he and his wife had never once used a cane on any of their children. Once, however, he said, he scolded one of his sons, using a tone of rebuke that his child had never heard before. It happened only once. But, the principal said, this child was so affected by this verbal rod that it made a permanent scar in his mind. If the principal had refrained from even that slight rebuke, he could have had a 100 percent physical and nonphysical rod-free parenting life. But my point is, if you would diligently look for an alternative way to correct your child, a rod need never be used on him or her.

The principal’s children are successfully placed in life today and are parents themselves now. I do not know if they are able to continue the same kind of nonrod discipline in their own children’s lives as their parents were. I haven’t met the principal for many years now, but when I meet him next, I will ask him and find out.

I was an overstrict disciplinarian of a parent, to my excruciating remorse many years later. But by my Father’s grace, all my children have grown to be loving and lovable members of society, faithful to God and faithful to their families. But that’s because I have spent years and years of tearful prayers that God may negate any unhealthy qualities my children may have imbibed from my parenting follies in my earlier years as a father.

In all cases where the child’s soul or body is not in danger, never even think of a physical rod. Even depriving a child of a privilege should only be applied after es repeated infringements of an instruction.

The best short answer to how best to discipline your child is to put yourself in a similar situation between you and your heavenly Father. How many times have you committed the same sin, given in to the same weakness, and the Father did not so much as utter a single word of impatience, but was longsuffering toward you, and waited patiently until you came to him in repentance. And that’s why you and I love him so much and want to obey him so earnestly. Not because we have to, not because we fear his rod, but because we want to, because of his lovingkindness towards us even while we were sinning against him.

However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.   1 Tm 1:16

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.   2 Peter 3:9

Our Father doesn’t just forgive us a few times or several times until he reaches the point of too-many-times-already and then takes up his rod of correction. He forgives us any number of times we turn to him after a repeated sin. Even when we are forgiven a sin against him, and after a while we become careless and commit the same sin – seven times a day, or a total of 490 times – our Father’s forgiveness is still the same (Luke 17:4; Matthew 18:21-22). That basically sums up the attitude that fathers on earth should have toward their little ones.

The way we discipline our children will be the way they will live even to their old age.

Train a child in the way he [should] go; and, even when old, he will not swerve from it.  Pr 22:6 CJB

Our loving and forgiving Father in heaven, bless every parent who has read this message and enable him or her to bring up their children in the way that you want them to grow up, so they can become Godly parents themselves, and above all, become children of God in whom you delight greatly. Amen.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

Fathers, Turn Your Heart to Your Children Today

 

The greatest remorse that a man or woman can have in this life – after loss of their opportunity with God – is loss of their opportunity with their children, followed by loss of their opportunity with their wife or husband.

Those three losses – with God, with children, with spouse – is the very reason God put it into my heart to found this ministry. There is absolutely no calling greater, no ministry more urgent, no mission more desperate in today’s world than that of doing all one can to protect a person from any one of these losses. I begin this message with a fervent prayer that God will work in your heart to heed this message and to do all that is in your power to redeem your time with your God, with your children and with your wife or husband, from this day on. (Though the title addresses fathers, mothers can also gain much insight from this message, which they can use to help their husbands redeem their time with their children.)

I will be repeating this sentence often in my various messages in this website and on the associate World Daily Bread website:

The greatest cause for all the evils in this world today, and the one cause that all societies and governments should focus on eradicating above every other evil in this world, is that the hearts of the fathers are not turned to their children, and therefore the hearts of the children are not turned to their fathers!

Please read that again.

The continuance or total annihilation of this world in the sooncoming years hinges, not on the nuclear war factor, not on food availability, not on global climate changes – but on whether the hearts of the fathers will be turned to their children and the hearts of the children will be turned to their fathers. Let God’s Word convince you of this truth.

And he [the messenger whom God will sent in the last days] will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.   Mal 4:6

The word ‘curse’ in the original Hebrew is ‘cherem’, which more accurately means ‘extermination’, or ‘utter destruction’. And this is how it is translated in several other versions of the Bible.

He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.   NIV

He will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to their fathers; otherwise I will come and strike the land with complete destruction.   CJV

‘the land’ is more accurately translated as ‘the earth’ in the King James Version and New King James Version, as well as in other translations such as the Geneva Bible, Knox Bible, Orthodox Jewish Bible, etc.

he it is shall reconcile heart of father to son, heart of son to father; else the whole of earth should be forfeit to my vengeance.   Knox Bible

Mercifully, in his great love, God will ensure that his servants worldwide will focus on this aspect of their ministry above every other aspect – of course, after the message of eternal salvation through Christ is first preached.

There is a great attempt by Satan to influence churches and ministries worldwide to focus more on the physical and financial wellbeing of God’s people, more on happiness, more on success, more on doctrinal and parochial church issues. And many servants of God have fallen into the devil’s snare. They are not preaching the wrong gospel – Satan is too smart to try to change the minds of Christ’s servants to abandon the Gospel altogether. They are just neglecting that aspect of the gospel which, if heeded by fathers, would save the world from total destruction. And this, Satan knows, is the best way to ensure that his own reign on earth can be extended. With mankind destroyed, God will have to devise another plan to populate earth again, as he did in Noah’s days, and with no one existing anymore who can qualify to take over his kingship, he can continue as the undisputed ruler of this world.

And why is this aspect, the turning of the hearts of the fathers, so absolutely vital for the salvation of this world?

Look at the evils and wickedness in this world. Next time, you see a man or woman on the street, in your workplace, who displays a profane behavior, look at that person carefully and ponder deeply. How did that person come to behave like that, while you just can never even think of doing such a thing?

Two days before I began to write this message, I found myself in a queue at a supermarket checkout counter. It was moving very slow, as were all the queues at the other counters. A woman came and stood behind me, and then, leaving her grocery basket where she stood, she went back to the stalls. In her short absence, another woman came with her big cart and stood behind me. The first woman returned and took her rightful position. There was an altercation. The second woman was flushing in anger, and she made me the arbitrator and judge – had the first woman really stood behind me before she came? I said yes. The second woman stomped away still flushing, and, I think, cursing me too.

Courtesy: Nathan Rein – flickr.com/photos/nbr/

Now ponder. What would a Christian woman do? I know what my wife, or scores of other women I know, would do. If she was the first woman, on being objected to coming back to her place, she would smile, even say a needless ‘sorry’ and take her undeserved position behind the second woman. Now, if she was the second woman, on seeing another woman coming and standing ahead of her, she would merely take a step or two back to make it more convenient for the first woman to squeeze in. Simple. But absolutely impossible for a woman or man whose heart has not been turned to their father in their younger days.

A child whose heart has been neglected by his or her father in their molding years is the most desirable prey for the spiritual vultures hovering over every home in every nation on world. This child may have everything else a parent can provide for: security, a beautiful home, excellent nutrition, peaceful environment, quality schooling, and even quality time with parents. In the midst of all these fine and caring circumstances, the child’s heart will still be easily turned away from es father and start turning to the heart of another father.

I speak what I have seen with My Father, and you do what you have seen with your father.   Jn 8:38,41

The heart will never remain for long unturned and neutral. If the child’s heart is not turned to his or her father, they will then surely do what they see their substitute father does.

All the impolite behaviors in the public places, the deadly road rages, the divorces, the murders, all the perverted desires, all the fornications, all the dishonesties, and all other evil characteristics of an adult have their origin in a young child whose heart was neglected by his or her own father and taken over by the father of this world.

You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.   Jn 8:44

The consequences of a neglected heart are not confined to the home or the immediate community. They sweep devastatingly through boundaries and wreak havoc on a national and global scale. Every single one of all the wars that ever happened in this world’s history, including World Wars 1 and 2, can be traced down to the heart of just one child that absorbed the desires of his spiritual father.

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?   Jm 4:1

Now, secular parenting authorities and family counselors have come to realize through their own observation and research that the absence of father in the home is a root cause for society’s great many ills. And so they have come up with solutions such as fathers spending ‘quality time’ with their kids. They advise working parents to ‘prioritize’ the family over their work. They may even counsel teaching children some ‘real values’ – although I wonder how those counselors who believe that the first offsprings on earth have their origin in copulative accidents among primeval life-forms eons ago, can understand anything about ‘real’ values.

As the editor of a parenting magazine many years ago, on several occasions I hosted forums where parents and noted counselors met together in a forum. I noted that when it came to offering medical and general counsel relating to a child’s health and wellbeing, these sychologists, doctors and parenting authorities offered sound advice. But when parents would ask about some ‘moral’ issue’ their kids were facing, some of them would proffer ‘scientifically proven’ remedies, some of which, to my shock, included encouraging children to fantasize acts of fornication, which is what actually happens in youngsters’ minds when they sexually gratify themselves.

Listen to this reasoning behind such recommendation, as expressed by a noted female sychologist in that forum: If a mosquito bites your child, and he feels an irresistible itch on some part of his body, would you prevent him from scratching that area for relief? In the same way, you should not prevent him from finding relief from his sexual tension through self-release.

Of course, wise parents know what happens to that relieved child when he becomes a teen. Everytime he feels the itch in his loins, he seeks relief from any available source near him. The seeds of fornication and adultery are sown in little kids who are not constantly guided out of their natural itches and inclinations by Godly parents.

To my understanding, and in all my research, I have not come across any secular parenting magazine or book in the world that emphasizes what I am emphasizing in this message. Books by Christian authors do cover this subject to a lesser or greater extent, yet on the whole such publications are a minuscule percentage of the media that influence parents’ relationship with their children.

Oh, at the time of writing this, one of the most popular ways that parents express love to their kids, and in the process inadvertently teach them profane values, is by turning the tender hearts over to wizards and witches. Stronger influences have been imprinted in the minds of our present generation of teens in a typical modern ‘Christian’ home, especially in the developed nations, by books and shows such as Harry Potter and MTV than by all that they have learned in Sunday School and church youth camps. I am referring especially to those homes that have a Bible somewhere on a shelf, but where the children are gifted with books glorifying wrong spirits, and where they are not prohibited from watching squirmy scenes and hear squalid lyrics on tv.

Even as the devil is hyperactive in this endtimes in turning the hearts of children in every nation to him, our Father in heaven is working urgent works through his servants worldwide to turn the hearts of the children to their rightful fathers. God does this by first turning the hearts of the fathers to him, and then, after they have established a right relationship with their heavenly Father, by inspiring them to turn their hearts to their children.

It is not enough that you daily take an hour off from your work and other pursuits to sit with your child to spend quality time with him. Turning your heart to your child means, firstly, having a certain attitude toward him or her every moment of your waking and sleeping hours. What is this attitude?

It is the attitude where you are constantly conscious of God’s Law – summarized in The 10 Commandments – in your every thought, word, and action. It is the love for God and his way of life that emanates with a holy radiance from every cell in your body, which is quickly absorbed by the rest of your family.

A home where dad shows his close relationship with God in all that he speaks and does is the home where Jesus Christ himself is thrilled to be a constant member of. He rejoices in hearing every sentence father utters to his wife and children, and in seeing every act he performs toward them. God and his laws are dad’s favorite theme for conscious and subconscious meditation, not just at fixed quiet times, but throughout the day, wherever he may be.

Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.   Ps 119:97

Secondly, turning your heart to your children means speaking to them of God’s way of life, and his truths in the Bible, and encouraging them to imitate you in zealously observing The 10 Commandments in all its broad life applications. It means taking time to narrate the stories in the Bible, to explain how to live by God’s laws in every situation the child faces. It means slowly raising your child’s level of understanding so he can begin to see the need for his Savior, and understand why his Savior had to die for him, and how he can constantly live a righteous life by Christ dwelling in him through the Holy Spirit.

You will sit down often with your child, and explain to him that all the evils are happening in the world today because people have not been taught God’s way by their parents. You will place much emphasis on explaining the consequences of breaking each of The 10 Commandments.

As your child grows into teenhood and enters the world of puberty, you should focus more on the 7th Commandment, and how the breaking of this commandment by the world in general (and you can give the divorces and extramarital relationships in Hollywood as prime examples) is breaking up homes and children’s lives everywhere.

You dont do this just at any specific pre-determined hour, although there certainly must be at least one pre-determined family hour every day. You do it wherever you get the opportunity.

So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.   Deut 11:18-21 NLT

Fathers, if your children are still with you, blessed are you, for you have the greatest opportunity – literally the greatest opportunity of any man or woman in the sight of God – to contribute to saving this world from total annihilation in these end times. But infinitely more important, you have the opportunity to turn your children’s heart to his or her God so that they can be greatly blessed and their blessing will continue to your grandchildren and great grandchildren even to thousands of generations descending from you and your wife.

There is little time left before world events take a dramatic turn for the worse. The devil knows it, and he is working extra hard to turn the hearts of the fathers away from their children. But God is not watching passively as the world races toward self-destruction. He is working in awesome ways globally to turn back the hearts of the children to their parents. He has sent the spirit of Elijah into the hearts of many of his servants worldwide.

Remember the Law of Moses [The 10 Commandments], My servant, which I commanded him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse [total destruction].   Mal 4:4-6

A great turning of hearts among millions of fathers and children is already taking place all over the world. Is your heart among them?

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child (or Anyone)

 

For 25 years, until my children outgrew their father’s quality time around them, I assumed that paternal closeness was indeed the greatest gift I could bestow upon them, apart from unconditional love, which I am not discussing here at all, and which I do not deem as a gift to be discovered and given; it is obvious that we parents do not have to strive to have unconditional love for our offspring – it’s an instinctive thing. As for values and character development, these are naturally imbibed from the parents when the greatest gift is given to the children. What has to be learned by parents with growing children is a most precious understanding that has to be gifted to them by wizened and oftentimes remorseful older folks, for rarely can a young couple acquire such parenting perspective on their own until it is too late and the nest is already empty.

It is my hope that you as an earnest parent are privileged to still have your little kids whizzing past you, squeaking in delight on imaginary chases and causing the usual disquietude to your hour of relaxation after a hectic day’s work. Perhaps you are on a continual quest to find the elusive golden keys to bringing up your kids with a trifle less commotion, safely, wisely and above all, successfully – which is probably why you are reading this message. I have yet to see a 70-year-old father reading an article on parenting or a grandma earnestly referring Dr. Spock’s revered counsels.

The following illustrative story is about a father and a mother who gave the greatest gift to their children:

16-year-old Raju was one of the several undernourished children that the love union of his parents inadvertently brought forth into an impoverished community. Manual laborers by profession, Raju’s parents’ greatest goal on waking up each morning was to be able to feed their five children at least two meals that day. The struggle for daily sustenance was eased a bit when Raju was old enough to help his parents in their quarrying work.

Quarrying, as it’s done in underdeveloped lands, is more than just pickaxing away chunks off the solid rock face. It literally involves a dynamite of a risk. A hole about a foot deep is made on the rock face, raw gunpowder is packed into it, and one end of a gunpowder-laced cord inserted into the hole. The other end, a couple of meters away, is set sparkling with the glowing end of a beedi (the local cigarillo), upon which act the igniter shouts, ‘vediyehhhhhhh!’ (‘explosion coming!’), raising and extending his pitch on the final syllable. Anyone thereabouts then has around seven to ten seconds to duck for cover against the meteor of huge boulders descending on the rock face. Raju wasn’t nimble enough on one of those occasions.

As he lay in the government hospital, one arm almost severed and hanging on a tendon and his body a bloody mess of flesh, his father and mother rushed to his bedside. There wasn’t the usual laborers’ wail of distress from the parents on sighting their crumbled up child.

Instead, the father quietly took hold of his son’s hand of the remaining arm, while the mother seated herself at the foot of the bed, and began to gently stroke her son’s feet. This they continued to do until, after the usual long delay of public servants in such places, a surgeon was finally available to amputate the boy’s arm.

As he was trolleyed into the operation theater, the father kept holding his son’s hand, all the while showering him that reassuring look he had been silently effusing since he arrived at his son’s bedside. After the operation, and through the days of recuperation, the father’s and the mother’s mode of reaction to their son’s tragedy remained unchanged and unabated. The father held his son’s hand as often as he stood by his bedside, and the mother kept stroking her child’s feet as often as she sat on the edge of his bed, until the day they were able to limp him back home.

I have gone to some descriptive length in narrating this incident, but have done so with the intention of conveying an experience for which I still couldn’t figure a one-word expression. The Greek language, it seems, has a word that comes close to it. It’s usually spelled ‘agape’ (pronounced ‘ah-gah-pey’) in English. When translating ancient Greek manuscripts containing this word into the English language, the translators, for want of a better expression, settled for the incomplete sense in the word ‘love’, while acknowledging that it doesn’t convey the full intent of the Greek terminology. The closest I could manage in defining this gift is by the compounded term:

‘I-not-only-love-you-forever-but-I-am-always-there-for-you-when-you-need-me-and-where-you-need-me….over-and-beyond-any-other-need-or-desire-in-my-life’.

The greatest gift you can give your child is the abiding assurance deep within your child’s psyche of your undistractible attention and your unfailing presence in absolutely any situation in which your child might find himself.

Perhaps the shorter phrase ‘continuous lifelong bonding’ might suffice for the present purpose. It’s a bonding that never loses a shade of its warmth when a child is weaned off his mother’s breast milk. It’s a bonding that never loses its intimacy when a child grows too big to be kissed in front of his friends. And this bonding abides constant without a trace of diminution whether the child has done something terribly wrong or is suffering the deserved consequences of deliberate delinquency.

This was the gift that Raju could perceive his parents had been lavishing on him all along. Raju’s parents never had read a book on childrearing. Yet they were gifted with the most important truth in raising a child – something which eludes the expressive capability of many a PhD in child sychology. This is a gift all parents naturally have, but the tragedy is that their children don’t always discern it, because the parents do not realize they aren’t expressing it. On the contrary, many children feel a neglect of them by parents – a root cause for the growing number of runaway teenagers each year in the materially developed, but emotionally deprived, countries. It’s a basic cause for the growing number of children turning to drugs for a substitute assurance or for a temporary obliteration of the gnawing awareness within them of being deprived of their greatest emotional need – of knowing with absolute certainty that there are people who will love them and care for them no matter what.

As modern civilization keeps rushing forward to its ominous destination at a human-relations warping pace, and as men and women get caught in the vortex of career advancement or job survival, the biggest sacrifice that parents make on the altar of family sustenance is their continuous bonding with their children. And being subconsciously aware of something amiss in their relationship with their offspring, they come up with measured amounts of ‘quality time’ at predetermined hours of the day, or they seek to compensate for the shortage of this greatest of gifts with excessive material demonstrations of affection and profuse verbal assurances. But outward effusions of affection can never be a substitute for continuous internal bonding.

In my many years as a teacher, I observed children as young as three and a half years old being virtually abandoned by their parents to the care of strangers in boarding schools in their native country, while they returned to the Gulf or to the US so they could better lay up provisions for the future of these very children they left behind. Today, I see or hear of some of these same children, now grown up and parents themselves. The lack of bonding did cause severe sychological disorders in a very few of these former school boarders. But the vast majority did not turn out to be violence-prone adults or introverts or social misfits. On the contrary, they proved to be reliable, hardy and successful citizens.

But I discerned one vital ingredient that was missing in all of them: Their concept of parenting, their attitude towards their now old parents, their relationship with their spouses, and with people in general, were not as deep as those of the people that had a history of unbroken bonding with their parents. Their relationships initially tend to be shallow or problematic, and only their constant and earnest efforts in overcoming mentalities and attitudes formed in childhood could offset their defective bonding with their parents. Yet, I can’t remember any case where the negative effects of an improperly bonded relationship in childhood days were completely offset by personal efforts to correct a wounded subconscious. The effects, it seems, are lifetime, unless a great miracle occurs in the heart of the grownup child whose parents couldn’t give them the ‘agape’ kind of bonding. And miracles are rare phenomena in an increasingly Godless world, aren’t they?

I also found that the aged parents in the retirement homes who were the most lonely and the least visited by their children are those very parents who had deprived their children of the greatest gift in their tender years.

Bonding is impossible without the actual presence of the parents. But it is not the kind of presence so demanded by quality time advocates. A parent can spend all the quality time with their child and still find 10 or 15 years later that they have lost forever something of incalculable preciousness in the hearts of their offsprings. The ‘I-am-always-there-for-you-no-matter-what’ is a gift given through the spontaneous vibes of the heart more than through the deliberate verbal demonstrations of affection and calculated allocations of time.

This inviolable bonding between parents and children is the most precious legacy that one generation can pass on to the next. The inadequately bonded child, for all the verbal assurances and quality time given to him by his concerned parents, is not likely to bond adequately with his own offspring, and thus passes on a plague of shallow family relations.

The greatest of gifts that parents can give their child is also the greatest gift that a husband can render his wife…that which shoots a wave of thrill down the spine of a woman every time she unexpectedly sights her man. It is also the gift that binds two young children with a friendship that remains intact as ever even after a separation of several decades.

As I write this, I remember that I promised my boyhood chum I will be meeting him two days from now in his hometown about 100 kilometers from my place. It was only a few days ago that I heard his voice on the phone, after having lost track of him for 37 years. The last time I saw him was when we were both discovering, somewhat mischievously, the magic of the first year of our teen lives, and I just can’t wait to see how he looks now and to give him a bear hug…

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

Why Are We Pushing Our Children Away From Our Lives?

 

From almost the day of their birth until they are finally freed from their physical shackles sometime in their late teens, children’s bodies are confined by their parents within products or environments that do much harm to their overall development. This has such serious impact on our children’s future lives that I wonder why medical and educational authorities are not shouting this fact aloud from the hospital and school rooftops to every parent.

When the child is a just-born infant, what do the hospitals do? They immediately swathe the child in a pink or blue sheet of flannel that leave only es face exposed to the world. And the smothered infant fares no better when e is taken home.

Research shows that infants are put in movement restricting things – chairs, carriers, car seats, and the like – for over 60 waking hours a week…with serious consequence for their motor and cognitive development! As to how serious these consequences are, I urge you to read the eye-opening article Containerized Infants: How Products are Affecting Our Babies’ Brains by Rae Pica, reprinted in this section.

A related issue is co-sleeping with our children. Again, from their infancy, modern mothers are unintentionally pushing away their kids from their lives, when, on the other hand, Nature endowed them with the basic need to cling to their parents.

Modern culture encourages us to ‘sleep teach’ our children by placing them in a separate bed and even a separate room, so that they’ll learn to sleep on their own. But as a wise doctor wrote, ‘This generation of mothers labors under the dubious pronouncement that babies sleep best in isolation. Every infant knows better. His protest at nocturnal solitude contains the wisdom of millennia.’ Thomas Lewis, MD, ‘A General Theory of Love’.

Sleep teaching our children in their tender age is one root cause for the growing phenomenon of the breakup of extended families (families where adult children have their parents and grandparents living with them) and the advent of single-family dwellings.

I close by repeating the words of Verna Mae Sloan, a mother and grandmother:

‘How can you expect to hold onto them in life if you begin by pushing them away?’

 

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

Containerized Infants: How Products are Affecting Our Babies’ Brains

By Rae Pica

Courtesy: Chloe – chloe004 – flickr.com

 

Besides the fact that they were built to do so, there are a great many reasons why infants need to move. The truth is, even though their movement capabilities are extremely limited when compared with even those of a toddler, movement experiences may be more important for infants than for children of any other age group. And it’s not all about motor development either.

Thanks to new insights in brain research, we now know that early movement experiences are considered essential to the neural stimulation (the ‘use-it-or-lose-it’ principle involved in the keeping or pruning of brain cells) needed for healthy brain development.

Not long ago, neuroscientists believed that the structure of a human brain was genetically determined at birth. They now realize that although the main ‘circuits’ are ‘prewired’ (for such functions as breathing and the heartbeat), the experiences that fill each child’s days are what actually determine the brain’s ultimate design and the nature and extent of that child’s adult capabilities.

An infant’s brain, it turns out, is chock-full of brain cells (neurons) at birth. (In fact, a one-pound fetus already has 100 billion of them!) Over time, each of these brain cells can form as many as 15,000 connections (synapses) with other brain cells. And it is during the first three years of life that most of these connections are made. Synapses not used often enough are eliminated. On the other hand, those synapses that have been activated by repeated early experiences tend to become permanent. And it appears that physical activity and play during early childhood have a vital role in the sensory and physiological stimulation that results in more synapses.

Neurophysiologist Carla Hannaford, in her excellent book, Smart Moves: Why Learning Is Not All in Your Head, states: ‘Physical movement, from earliest infancy and throughout our lives, plays an important role in the creation of nerve cell networks which are actually the essence of learning.’

She then goes on to relate how movement, because it activates the neural wiring throughout the body, makes the entire body — not just the brain — the instrument of learning.

Gross and fine motor skills are learned through repetition as well — both by virtue of being practiced and because repetition lays down patterns in the brain. Although it hasnt been clearly determined that such early movements as kicking, waving the arms, and rocking on hands and knees are ‘practice’ for later, more advanced motor skills, it’s believed that they are indeed part of a process of neurological maturation needed for the control of motor skills. In other words, these spontaneous actions prepare the child – physically and neurologically – to later perform more complex, voluntary actions.

Then, once the child is performing voluntary actions (for example, rolling over, creeping, and walking), the circle completes itself, as these skills provide both glucose (the brain’s primary source of energy) and blood flow (‘food’) to the brain, in all likelihood increasing neuronal connections.

According to Rebecca Anne Bailey and Elsie Carter Burton, authors of The Dynamic Self: Activities to Enhance Infant Development, whenever babies move any part of their bodies, there exists the potential for two different kinds of learning to occur: learning to move and moving to learn. Still, recent evidence indicates that infants are spending upward of 60 waking hours a week in things – high chairs, carriers, car seats, and the like!

The reasons for this trend are varied. Part of the problem is that more and more infants are being placed in childcare centers, where there may not be enough space to let babies roam the floor. Or, given the number of infants enrolled, there may be little opportunity for caregivers to spend one-on-one time with each baby. This means, in the morning, an infant is typically fed, dressed, and then carried to the automobile, where she’s placed in a car seat. She’s then carried into the childcare center, where she may spend much of her time in a crib or playpen. At the end of the day, she’s picked up, placed again into the car seat, and carried back into the house, where she’s fed, bathed, and put to bed.

Even when parents are home with baby, they seem to be busier than ever these days. Who has time to get on the floor and creep around with a child? Besides, with today’s emphasis on being productive, playing with a baby would seem almost a guilty pleasure! And if the baby seems happy and safe in a seat placed conveniently in front of the TV, in a bouncer hung in a doorway, or cruising about in a walker, then what’s the harm? It’s a win/win situation, isn’t it?

In fact, it isn’t. Being confined (as one colleague says: ‘containerized’) affects a baby’s personality; they need to be held. It may also have serious consequences for the child’s motor – and cognitive – development.

Other trends in today’s society having an impact on infants’ opportunities to move are the inclination to restrict, rather than encourage, freedom of movement and the misguided belief that early academic instruction will result in superbabies. (In 1999, 770,000 copies of infant software – ‘lapware’ – were sold!)

Humans are meant to move and play. The inclination – the need – is hardwired into them. Babies, in fact, spend nearly half of their waking time – 40% – doing things like kicking, bouncing, and waving their arms. And while it may appear all this activity is just for the sake of moving, it’s important to realize a baby is never ‘just moving’ or ‘just playing’. Every action extends the child’s development in some way.

 

Rae Pica has been an early childhood education consultant, specializing in children’s physical activity, since 1980. A former adjunct instructor with the University of New Hampshire, she is the founder and director of Moving & Learning and the author of 18 books, including the text Experiences in Movement and Music (now in its 5th edition), the award-winning Great Games for Young Children and Jump into Literacy, and A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity, and Free Time Create a Successful Child, written for the parents of children birth to age five. Her website: www.raepica.com

 

 

When You Should Ignore the Counsel of Parenting Experts

 

In all relationships, except one, you have to grow in love over the years. When a young man falls in love with a woman, that love is only a small fraction of the bond that he will have for her when she is his wife. In fact, their love for each other doesn’t reach full bloom until years after they first met.

Frankly, when I fell in love with my wife, I sincerely believed I loved her so much I couldn’t love her more. 40 years later I feel that my love in the first decade of our relationship was just a tiny grain of emotion compared to what I feel for her now.

But that’s not how we feel about our children. We feel that we have always loved them to totality from the first day they entered our lives.

You see, parent’s love is instinctive. Especially mother’s. You don’t have to teach a new mother how to love her child. The moment she beholds the pinkish piece of newborn life beside her, her whole being swells with tenderness and an overriding desire to protect her child at any cost. The love is fullblown and complete from the very first day.

So Whoever placed that instinctive love within her, can certainly be expected to place within her the basics of caring for her child too.

A mother knows by instinct what’s best for her child in the core areas of the little one’s life. And if there are areas where she is not so knowledgeable about, her mother – the child’s grandma – pitches in with her own experience. That’s why grandparents should be such a vital part of parenting life.

Earlier generations of parents didn’t have a Baby & Child Care book to guide them, but they brought up a finer breed of citizens worldwide than what we generally come across today, despite the hosts of modern sychologists counseling them in every city.

I have seen, to the grief of my heart, pediatricians and childcare specialists strongly advising parents to condone certain habits in children (such as ‘playing’ with oneself), which if continued through the teen and young adulthood years, would surely turn their future marital relationship into a flaccid one.

I have mentioned this incident in another message, but let me narrate it again. At a recent parenting forum, a female child sychologist representing an esteemed child counsel center explained that an adolescent releasing his sexual tension was like a person soothing the area where a mosquito bit him. It is natural and not to be discouraged, she advised. One mother, who was sitting beside me, on hearing this, exclaimed, ‘What nonsense!’. Thank God for the maternal instinct.

These experts are excellent when prescribing what’s best for your child’s colic or fever, but oftentimes proffer deadly advice when it comes to your family’s moral values. There are exceptions of course, as rare as white ravens. If you know of such exceptional counselors anywhere, do let me know, and I will promote their services free through this website. They deserve it, being such a rare breed in their profession.

So when it comes to the essentials of caring for your child, trust your instincts more than the worldly counsel of child specialists. Heed their medical counsel as long as you innately know it doesn’t conflict with your Nature-given maternal feelings.

I hope that you, in choosing a parenting counselor for yourself, will find one who believes there are spiritual laws that supersede all the teachings they have acquired from the world’s materialistic, Creator-denying universities.

 

Pappa Joseph

 

 

The Wonder Years With Your Child

 

The wonder years of a child are those years in es life when everything new e encounters is a wonder experience for em. A new object, a new face, a new place, a new shape…the child is wholly fascinated by the sight, sound and feel of it. The wonder years starts from the time he or she is able to perceive the world around em – which e could from infancy – to about the beginning of the teen years. At teenage, the boy or girl enters another phase of life when e begins to discover the wonders of puberty and teenhood, and es wonderment at natural phenomena wanes.

The parent who uses the precious wonder years to guide and enhance es child’s fresh experiences of the world lays an excellent foundation for es son or daughter to continue enjoying the wonders of life and nature beyond childhood and into adulthood.

A sense of wonderment along with a sense of keen humor (not to be confused with the ability to be humorous) is among life’s special blessings for those who have them. These two dispositions make one’s daily living colorful and cheerful. There is no room for boredom or monotony for the person who never ceases to wonder at God’s creation being replayed daily in nature’s various phenomena. Every time e beholds a new flower or scents a new fragrance, es sense of astonishment at the marvel of creation swamps es heart and e can’t help but burst out in praises to God for yet another amazing facet of his handiworks.

I have already mentioned in my book on parenting (see books section) about the benefits of exposing even the child in the womb to positive external stimuli by mom exposing herself to pleasant experiences during pregnancy.

When the child is born and es eyes and ears slowly learn to focus on objects and sounds, put colorful objects within sight of the baby. Beautiful music, melodious and uplifting, may be played for a little while in the background when the child is awake and in a playful mood. Don’t play music continually, or too often in a day, for music heard too long can be torturous to the ears.

When the child is old enough to handle objects, place childsafe objects of different shapes and colors within es reach.

Take your baby outdoors at least once daily, if possible. If there’s a park nearby, walk under the trees and among the plants and let your offspring’s eyes soak in the wonders around em. Point out a new creature – a cat, a bug, a bird. Show leaves and flowers at close quarters, so baby can learn to observe the marvel of design in nature.

As the child grows older, the parent should provide opportunities for his or her sense of wonderment to grow correspondingly in diversity and intensity. The mere color and shape of a leaf gives way to the sheer diversity of the plant kingdom. Simple handling of objects now becomes nimble molding of shapes with clay or sand. Generic music listening advances to specific musical preferences.

When your child is about three or four, take em on your shoulders outside the house on a star-spangled night. And there in the dark, point to the constellations above and show em for the first time in es life the twinkling wonders.

In the years my two sons and my daughter were growing up from childhood to teenhood before my very eyes, I have never got back the opportunity to speak to them the words that I had postponed speaking to them; I never once got back the opportunity to touch and hold their hands when I had thought I would hold them a little later when I was just done with a particular urgent work I was doing then; in all those years of parenting my children, I never once got back the chance to look again at the same facial expressions which longed to have my attention and speak to me.

Oh, yes, I did get the chance to speak and touch, and see many facial expressions at other times. But the ones I missed were unique. I long for them now, but I know I have lost them forever.

If I were a young parent again, every time my little child’s head pops up at my desk, while I am deeply engrossed in an important work, instead of telling him or her I cannot come with em now to see that butterfly e discovered, I will sleep my computer and rush out with my five-year-old child to see that new wonder in es life.

These wonder years in your child, this fascination in es eyes for everything you show em, or do with em, alas, lasts for so short a time that even before you could provide a fraction of the wonder experiences you had initially planned for your child, the years are forever gone, and you have now a self-willed tween staring back at you and wanting to go his or her own way.

The wonder years are so fleeting you need special help from God to fully redeem these years. Therefore, before your child’s wandering years begin, and your wondering time starts, may God help you to redeem every single day of the wonder years with your little son or daughter.

 

Pappa Joseph